I remember watching the movie “Chasing Mavericks” and being so inspired and motivated. I watched documentaries and YouTube videos of breath training for surfing. I looked into free diving and wanted to know all of the tools to be able to hold your breath long enough to wipe out on a 40 foot wave. I was like 13 years old at the time, it was the middle of the winter and I was nowhere near the beach, but in my world I was on a mission. It felt so real to me. I would go to the gym and swim underwater laps in the pool. The old people in the gym used to think I was nuts for how many laps I was doing on a breath. I was holding at the top for almost 4 minutes in middle school. In high school, I took the train to and from school every day. Whenever I was alone on the train I would practice holding my breath and timing myself. 

In elementary school, I played the trumpet. I loved the way it felt to rip the high notes and blast out songs like no other 5th and 6th graders could. I stopped after elementary school though because band would’ve interfered with hockey and society had conditioned me to think that organized sports were the only way to be enough for myself. I was also obsessed with singing back in the day, I was the lead in the 6th grade play. I remembered over 600 lines and sang multiple solo songs on stage. I loved music and I loved using my own body as the instrument. I still do. I painted, sculpted, and drew as well- I had a whole area of the basement dedicated to my art. My brother and I were always out doing some random shenanigans when we were younger too- bombing hills on skateboards, knee hockey, basketball, manhunt, etc. We surfed in the summers and snowboarded in the winters. 

Because I was so in tune with my breathing, had so many creative outlets, and was constantly so active, I was so fulfilled by my own presence that I never wanted to eat food. I would intuitively go weeks without food and lie to my parents that I was eating. Because I ate so little, I barely needed to sleep either. I was constantly awake all night while my family slept. I never felt malnourished a day in my life. I was short, I had yet to grow into myself yet, but I was lean and never felt weak even though everyone around me was a swollen hormone-eating monster lol. I wasn’t as big and strong as other kids my age, but I was quick and I was a million times smarter than everyone around me including my parents. Everyone thought I was crazy for not wanting to eat, and for a period of time even I beLIEved it. 

After staying true to my nature for so long, I eventually gave in and studied the people around me and acted like them to fit in with them because I thought living in my own creative expression was lonely and isolating. This was around junior year of high school, I started drinking and smoking weed. I started eating chipotle every day. Within a year I had done almost every drug under the sun and was running away from myself in every way possible. The idea that I had given up everything I loved doing to entertain people that didn’t even care about me hurt me so deep to my core that I was willing to do anything to stop feeling it.  

The universe has an interesting way of working. Everything that needed to happen for me to return to my true path, happened, and in a way I would have never thought it would. I broke my neck, learned about fruitarianism, tried it out for 6 months and reversed everything that was wrong with my physical body. 

Then I was introduced to the breatharian perspective by Taylor Budd and then EVERYTHING finally made sense again. As I was learning everything from the breatharian perspective, I literally felt like I already knew it as a kid. I was RE-searching for what I had already known my whole life. I put in a LOT of hours fasting and doing the breathwork to purge all of the built up emotions from the years I chose to hate/hurt myself. My mental clarity came back, the mental clarity and intellectual talent that is still lacking in literally everyone around me. This is my gift from myself, to be able to experience the ability to communicate things to people in a way no one else ever could in order to actually help people really innerstand themselves. Every experience is a teacher, and everything happens EXACTLY the way it should. Accept the mystery and trust that you’re in good hands. The seeds of the biggest trees to ever exist germinated in the lonely darkness of the soil. Dive deep into you darkness and realize that it’s your source of light. 

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